The 10 Most Annoying Friends You Have On Facebook
The Basic B*tch
You know her. There’s actually a good chance you are her. She loves Pumpkin Spice Lattes (or anything that comes in a Starbucks cup), the newest iPhone, any holiday, and there’s a good chance she “can’t even deal” with life. (In The Basic B*tch’s defense, every girl has a bit a basic in her, the one I’m talking about is the one who lives and breathes basic.)
The Attention Whore
The Attention Whore knocks The Basic B*tch out of the water. Every flower must be documented; every text from her boyfriend must be shared through every social channel (just so everyone knows how much he loves her). The Attention Whore doesn’t get enough attention in their life so they MUST publicize it every second they do.
The Train Wreck
The Train Wreck is the one who thinks it’s best to ask the audience “anyone know who’s hiring?” instead of simply going on Craigslist, Monster, etc. Shit, I’m sure even Google can tell you who’s hiring. The Train Wreck feels they need to share every detail of their life as if life is out to get them. They are constantly losing their phone, car keys, children…and when times get really tough, they are known to deactivate their Facebook for a few days at a time.
The Copy Cat
The Copy Cat will make you wish you never posted your holiday pictures on Facebook. Not only will they steal YOUR super cute, never-done-before idea (that you spent HOURS searching through Pinterest for) but they will also replicate your entire outfit, pose and cover photo. The queen of Copy Cats will even ask you which one you like best, so she can make it her holiday card too!
The ‘not-so-secret’ Secret Teller
This is the friend that updates their status first thing in the morning telling everyone they have a date tonight. They will check in at the restaurant with a caption along the lines of: “so nervous, what if he doesn’t like me”. They will keep you updated after the date letting you know if they liked the person, the food, the weather. They are also known to make statuses like this often: “Ugh…if you only knew” … “Just got the BEST news ever” … “so over this…you know who you are :(“. The ‘not-so-secret’ Secret Tellers are the ones you have the hardest time deleting because, like The Train Wreck, they keep you entertained throughout the week.
The Club Promoter
Dear Club Promoters, please stop tagging me in your required promo status along with all other 18,000 “friends” you have. No. I will not go to the Grand Opening of XYZ Club and invite all my friends to get free entry from your guest list. No, I do not want a free bottle for my birthday at your 18+ club. No. Just no.
The Wanna-be Selfie Queen
I am without a doubt pro-selfie. I’m all for it. I post one myself at least once a week. The Wanna-be Selfie Queen is one who posts the same seflie in color, black & white and sephia…all in the same day. She posts it with a duck face and with a smile. You’re ruining the selfie game for the rest of us girlfriend. Get it together. Oh, P.S. – This goes for men too.
In a relationship one week, broken up the next. They are the first ones to give out free relationship advice because, I mean, they have it ALL figured out. They think all girls are whores, men are pigs, and everyone is doomed from finding the “right one”…until things start heating up in their relationship again that is.
The Screen Shotter
These are the ones who screenshot their own snapchats (captions included) and share them for everyone to see. Similar to The Attention Whore, the Screen Shotter will share bits and pieces of their texts from their besties/boyfriends/parents that no one else finds funny except them. They also haven’t figured out the crop function for photos so you always know what time they took it, and how much battery they have left.
I had to save the best for last. You gamers are the most annoying people on Facebook. I mean I guess I should be giving you props for being so courageous to ask for lives on ‘Candy Crush Animal Farm Land’, but really I’m just embarrassed for you. This is what you do all day? And don’t you try to deny it, because we all know you only ‘invite’ people to play when your out of lives and have no other option but to spam Facebook or pay .99 for 3 more lives. Don’t be cheap. Just pay the .99 – I promise no one will ever find out.
Life is too short to be Facebook friends with annoying people