The other day as I’m scrolling through Facebook, minding my own business, I came across a status that made me chuckle. I guess it wasn’t necessarily the status itself that made me chuckle because I’ve seen this ‘quote’ numerous times, shit…I’ve probably even said a few times myself in a depressed, lonely ‘boo-hoo-me’ state of mind. What really got me was the backlash this person (we’ll call her Amy) received in the comments.
Her status stated something along the lines of “Chivalry really is dead”. Amy may have even threw a SMH at the end of it (I couldn’t tell you exactly because the status is now deleted, SMH). Well you can only assume two responses were coming her way. 1 – all the women on her friends list agreeing with her, cheering her on, chanting “all men are assholes”, that she doesn’t need a man…blah, blah, blah. And 2 – all the men on her friends list defending themselves, throwing the blame on the women because all the nice men get labeled “thirsty”, and my personal favorite “you’re not looking in the right places”…yada, yada, yada.
But for some reason, it really got me thinking. And it took me by surprise that my initial instinct was to take the men’s side. Why you ask? Well, here’s why…
First off, lets just get the obvious out of the way… it’s 20 fucking 14, there are no knights running around on their beautiful horses scooping up distressed women, woo-ing them over. Am I right?
So technically…YES, chivalry is dead and gone my friends and quite frankly, I think it’s rude for women to hold men up to such a label. Aren’t women trying to break free from their stereotypical labels and roles that society has placed them in? More than ever lately, women are making a stand to prove that they can do everything a man can do AND they want the same recognition. Don’t get me wrong, as a woman trying to make something of myself, I am all about that. But if we don’t want that label, why are we continuing to throw this one on men?
However, if you look at the “ideal qualifications of a knight” you see: courtesy, generosity, valor and dexterity in arms. Those qualities however, are not dead. These are qualities that not only men, but everyone should live up to.
So when I saw the response from one of her male friends saying “it’s not dead, you’re just looking in the wrong place”, I couldn’t help but agree. Remember when you were young and were taught things like “treat people how you want to be treated” and “you get what you give”… well the same rules apply here.
You want a man who will be courteous, generous, strong and brave? Guess what ladies…you have to be the same type of woman for him. And maybe you are looking in the wrong places for this ‘knight in shining armor’ and maybe he’s not ready to ‘woo’ you off your feet and maybe, just maybe he’s just not that interested.
And maybe chivalry is dead, but a chivalrous act is not.
Do you agree? What’s your take on this?